Student plagiarism interviews - 2 stories

Case 1
Student plagiarism interview: how not to get high
Professor: Student, your similiarity index is very high.
Student: I was not aware I was high; now I know.
Professor: You need to re-do your assignment. What would you do to avoid being so high?
Student: I will not drink beer when I do the assignment next time.
Case 2:
Professor: Student, why did you plagiaris?
Student: I adopt the same practice as other students to use "google translate" to translate the same articles in Chinese into English.. so my content is the same as that of my fellow classmates..
Professor: What would you do next time?
Student: I should not use "google translate" but to employ an expert to do the translation for me - although it costs some money..
Professor: omg.....

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