Ineffective presentation skills - a brief explanation

There are several techniques on how to make an ineffective oral presentation on assignment/ dissertation report:

1. Come to the presentation venue late for 10 minutes and complain about the traffic jam; also make sure that the phone number you provide to the education centre is invalid so that the academic staff is not able to contact you before the presentation session.
2. Struggle to read out the notes from a piece of paper and then ask the lecturer if you could make your presentation in Cantonese instead of English
3. Just read out descriptive content about your subject matter in a monotonous tone without explicitly explaining your dissertation aims, literature review findings, research design, key findings and recommendations. When reading out the content from your piece of note, always look at the computer monitor. Try to struggle to pronounciate some of the words in your notes, e.g. "perspective" so that the lecturer cannot follow your line of reasoning (which is very disorganized anyway).
4. When subsequently pressed to present key findings of your dissertation project, just indicate to your lecturer that you have only 1 minute left and you do not have time to cover those issues raised by the lecturer.
5. Always feel sorry that you could not do a better presentation because you run out of time and your spoken English is quite  poor; just keep saying "sorry" to your lecturer (as the asssessor of your presentation).
6. Be prepared to pay an additional fee to do your final year project again; maybe, the lecturer and the centre are so fed up with your work that they will "just give you a pass".

These ineffective presentation skills may not work.. but sometimes, miracles do happen... keep trying....

There is just one problem left:  a student may be able to graduate with a pass but is still not intellectually capable..